2014 (With Castiel AngeloftheLordNovakster)
by CastielTheWingedAssbutt
Summary: This was an RP I had with a friend via Facebook. 2014!CasX2014!Dean get in an argument after a raid and things get a little heated.


**Castiel AngeloftheLord Novakster**

Dean was livid. No, He was beyond livid. The stupidity of that new guy they brought in almost cost them the entire trip. Dean slammed the door to the jeep and stepped around to where the new-comer was stumbling out of the vehicle. He shoved the kid. He mustn't have been a day over 16, but this fucker had almost killed them all. He raised his gun to the kid's head and shot. He would make sure he didn't make the same mistake again. The others looked at him, "a Croat," was all the explanation they needed. They were satisfied. The trek back to his cabin didn't take too long, but when he entered the room he found the camp hippie sitting on his sofa, reading _The Sorrows of Young Werther_ and smoking a joint.

"Cas, I'd appreciate it if you didn't go through my shit," it was expected from the scraggly-looking man, but Dean still protested.

Castiel had stayed back at the camp whilst some other people left to get some more supplies and such, so he took the opportunity to venture and find something better to do. Even though he knew that Dean would be a little more than 'pissed off' if he discovered that someone had been through his stuff, he still began rummaging a little.

Until he came across a book to which he sat down on a sofa, rolled up a good plump joint and he started to read. All the while taking occasional pulls from the joint he had made. Castiel didn't even hear the jeeps pull up or the footsteps get closer to the cabin he was situated in, but when Dean's voice broke his daze on the book, he immediately looked up. "Oh, the fearless leader has returned.." He stated in a mumble, a dazed grin on his face, his sapphire eyes slightly clouded. "How did the hunt go?"

"fan-fucking-tastic," his voice dripped with sarcasm as he stalked over to the bed and kicked his muddy boots off. "What do you want, Cas?" he asked, his patience wearing thin with the stoner ex-angel.

"Always so positive, it's heartwarming." Castiel made sure the sarcasm literally dripped off his words, he placed the book onto the small table then folded his arms onto his chest. "I wanted to come and see you, Dean. You may not care anymore, but I do...surprisingly."

"Why?" Dean glared at the other. The only time Cas had ever wanted to "come see him" he had wanted something. Extra Rations, something to smoke, narcotics, anything. He considered what reprimand he would receive if he threw a boot at the mostly-sober man. He was /not/ having a good day at all.

"Because I /wanted/ to." Castiel stood up, slightly shaky on his legs. "Do I really need a reason?" He decided to ask, ever since everything had happened. The man he knew had completely disappeared and was just replaced with someone cold, uncaring.

"Yeah, Cas. You really do." Fuck the shoe, Dean found a new clip for his gun while on the raid and wouldn't mind painting the wall red. A headache pounded in his head. He was being rash, it was just an annoying hippie trying to get something from him. "You never come, 'just to talk'" He spoke in a softer voice. "What do you want?" The ex-angel had long ago swindled the hunter into having feelings for him just to obtain what he wanted. Dean had found out, and they had made an agreement: Cut the shit, and ask for what you want. No fucking around with feelings, Cas.

"I wanted to talk about things...you know...like how we used to.." Castiel paused and a small deep chuckle escaped his pale lips. "It funny, having to say that, boy have things changed.." He walked over to the bed, then stopped, swaying left to right absentmindedly.

Dean pressed his lips into a thin line. What did he want? just to sit and enjoy each other's company? Fuck that, Dean had things to see and people to do... like that new chick that had been hitting on him. Risa he thought her name was.

"You know what, lets just forget I asked because all of us just living like mindless soldiers is great too.." Castiel mumbled and began to exit the shack. "People wonder why I bang gongs til the lights go out.." He chuckled again, this one sounding a little more bitter.

"Cas, stop." He reeled at the look he got. "I just..." He honestly still had feelings for the hippie. He was just afraid of being hurt again. He sighed, this decision, he realized, he couldn't come back from. "Stay?" He asked, his voice broken.

Just to hear a small flicker of emotion in the others voice was enough for Castiel, he turned around and faced Dean, brow furrowed slightly. "Of course..." He stayed by the door, unsure of what to do with himself.

Dean bit his bottom lip, staring at the floorboards now. He wasn't sure how far Cas was willing to go, but if this was going to be the end of the world he wanted Cas to be by his side as more than just a comrade. "Come here," he beckoned, not as a command, but as a request.

Castiel wasn't expecting the request, so it took him a little off guard, but none the less he still walked over to Dean and sat down beside him. Although he was quite human, he still had that usual rigid posture in certain situations.

Dean sighed, propping his head in his hands as the ex-angel sat beside him, the bed yielding to the weight of the man. "Cas, remember when..." This was ridiculous. He would never feel the same way...

The ex-Angel's head slightly tilted to the side as he awaited for what Dean had to say. "Remember what?" He questioned, sort of prodding Dean to carry on speaking.

His tongue darted out to wet chapped lips. "Remember when you first lost your wings and we were..." he tried to find the right word, "together?" What they had was hardly a relationship. On Castiel's part it was deceit, lying, and destruction of Dean's being. For what? A couple Adderall? Dean shook his head. "forget it," he said gruffly.

Castiel was aware of their past and how wrong he had been to treat Dean that way. He shouldn't have let himself sink further into a depressing addiction, because it came between something that was so important to him. And from the expression on the others face, he knew that was what he was thinking about. "I'm sorry, Dean.."

"forget it." he echoed himself. Having Castiel this close, he couldn't hide the stormy emotion in hazel eyes. He turned his face away from the other, tears threatening to fall. This was not the man he was, he wasn't some pussy ass bitch who cried. He was, as Cas put it, "the fearless leader."

They fell into an uncomfortable silence, his gaze lowered to his hands that were cupped together on his lap. "I understand..if you choose not to forgive me...my actions...do not change the fact that I...loved you, Dean..." He stated quietly, almost inaudible.

A soft choking noise broke the silence. Dean wrapped his arms around himself, face still turned away from the other. "What happened?" He almost whimpered. "Why past tense?"

"Well...I still love you...but...What I did...I don't deserve to be forgiven for...and a lot has changed between us..." Castiel tried to explain. "I'm not the Angel you want me to be...and you're not the Dean I was with all that time ago."

Dean tried to digest what was being said. Cas still loved him. "I don't want you to be an angel," he whispered, "I just want you to be mine."

"I would love to be yours, Dean." Castiel stated, there was no point hiding it now. His feelings for Dean had never left, even when they had both began to change, for better or for worst.

Dean looked at the other, hazel eyes brimming with unshed tears.

All Castiel wanted to do was wrap his arms around the other man, mostly because it felt like it would be right. But he limited himself to his own wants, unsure if the other would want the same.

Dean's hands slid down as he released his hold on his own arms. "Cas?" He asked, "come closer?"

Castiel simply nodded and moved a little closer to Dean, now definitely in the others personal space.

Dean wrapped his arms around Cas, burying his face into his shoulder. He realized that there was no reason he should try to hide anything from this man. This man had seen every fiber of his being, explored every crevice of his soul.

At first, the ex-Angel was frigid, but he soon settled into the gesture they were both sharing. His eyes closed as he allowed himself to appreciate this moment since it did not occur that much...by that much, he meant that it didn't occur at all.

Dean nuzzled his face into Cas's neck, in a show of affection. "Please don't leave me again, Cas"

"I wont leave you, Dean...Whatever happens, I am here...this is where I belong." Castiel's voice sounded more gentle than it usually would, also more sober since it had been some time that he had last drank and let himself go.

Dean's shoulders shook as he sobbed silently into Cas's neck. "Please- please, Cas... I need-" he couldn't complete a single thought, as his mind was scattered.

Castiel on instinct, rubbed Dean's back, hoping that the gesture, along with the hug would be soothing. "It's alright, Dean.." He whispered in a gentle hushing tone.

"I need you." He whispered, pulling slightly away from the embrace to look into azure eyes; hazel eyes seeming so sure and determined.


End file.
